A woman who suffered from anorexia has revealed how the birth of her miracle twins helped pull her back from the brink.
Jessica Rolley from Melbourne weighed just 40 kilograms at the height of her illness; the result of living off carrot, celery and ginger juice for two years and avoiding water so she didn’t bloat.
But, as her heart began to fail, the 32-year-old finally sought help and began to eat avocados and cucumbers with hummus in a bid to gain weight and fulfil her hope of conceiving.
She revealed her “lifelong dream was to get married and become a mum” and said she was “ecstatic” when a scan at six weeks revealed two heartbeats.
It was a moment which prompted her to realise it was no longer about just her health anymore.
“My children saved my life as my maternal instincts took over and I began eating again!” Jessica said.
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Although Jessica says she has always suffered with body dysmorphia – her destructive eating habits heightened in 2014 following a bout of “Bali belly”.
After recovering from severe food poisoning, Jessica noticed she lost weight quickly and became addicted to “throwing up food”.
“I was really sick after a holiday in Bali, medics at home discovered a parasite in my stomach which they just couldn’t get rid of,” she said.
“I started drinking juice to cleanse my body of the parasite but then I became addicted to juicing because I loved how light I felt and lived off five celery, ginger and carrot juices a day.
“I also used to drink laxatives tea and black coffee all day – I don’t know how my insides survived.
“Although I got thinner and thinner, I still thought I was fat.”
She revealed as time progressed, anorexia wreaked havoc on her health and that she became faint from a lack of food and started having accidents.
One of the worst incidents was a fall at her best friend’s wedding, resulting in bruising on the brain.
“I also passed out when lifting a chair and was rushed into hospital where medics told me, my body was shutting down,” she said.
In 2017, after realising she desperately needed help, Jessica started seeing a counsellor and opening up about her weight problems.
She married her partner, Jonathan, 36, and although previously she had gone for two years without menstruating, she fell pregnant just months after her wedding.
The 32-year-old credits this particular event for cementing a positive change – and enabling her to see she had multiple reasons to take care of herself.
“I couldn’t stop laughing when we saw twins at the scan, it was the best feeling in the world,” she said.
“They were the driver for me to eat; however, it was confronting watching the weight pile on and knowing I had to eat to keep them healthy and to ensure they grew.
“I was so determined to keep the babies alive and do whatever it took even if it meant eating my cravings of vegemite toast and hot chips.”
Jessica is still in awe that she managed to conceive because of what she had “put her body through”.
“It truly is a miracle and I am still trying to process what I have been through,” the mum-of-two said adding: “I fought so hard for them.
“I managed to put on 5st 5lb (35 kilos) while pregnant, I had to for my babies to survive.
“The pregnancy was tough as my body wasn’t used to the weight and my rib even broke.
“I was bed bound for the last five weeks before giving birth at 37 weeks on September 5 (2018).
‘I AM SHARING MY STORY TO GIVE HOPE’
Today, life for Jessica and her twins Hunter and Jaeger is a picture of serenity – albeit one tinged with sadness.
“They are perfect, and we feel incredibly grateful to have them,” Jessica said.
“Mealtime is still difficult, but I make sure we eat a balanced range of healthy meals with the boys as I would never want them to battle an eating disorder like I did.
“I am sharing my very personal story to give hope to anyone that is suffering with anorexia or body dysmorphia.”